So 3 years ago, my heart woke up from a 5 year coma. It took 2 years of therapy to get it back to normal function. And now it's starting to get numb again. But instead of losing faith all at once it's slowly dying and filled with Novocaine to sooth the pain.

But that injection just isn't working fast enough.

And all I want is someone to distract me while the painkillers take effect.

What makes it worse is that this horrible sadness brought us together in the first place. And for a while I thought maybe that would be the glue that held us together.

And like an idiot I gave you every ounce of my trust. Everything you said I believed, every smile you gave me was genuine to me, every caress l*ving, every kiss tender and sweet.

And I my body and soul to you. If you didn't want that you had plenty of opportunities to let me know. Why you waited until I was madly in l*ve with you to change on me I'll never know.

Now I never hear from you, there's no more sweet talk about the moon and our dreams, no more long conversations on the phone at night, no more constant flirting texts during the day, no more "I miss you" and "I need you". No more being my prince charming.

If you just wanted to have sex, I told you so many times to tell me. But you instead opted to lie.

My last ray of hope is flickering away.

Hopefully I can finally put away my silly childhood dreams for good. I can live without my heart anyways. I did it for years with no problem.

I'm going to make sure you leave my life, and make sure I never allow myself to become that vulnerable again.