So like OMG FUCK I finally am having a little break cause spring break is close and I fucking can't wait another week for it! There's just too much shit going on!

Anyways, so like, if you haven't noticed, I put up my first drawing on my deviantart. I was drunk as fuck.

I'm actually not very good at drawing, sober or drunk, but I had fun drawing that, so, even though it's not good, it reminds me of a fun time I had with my friends.


So relationship wise, I'm in a slump. I haven't had a fuck in weeks and I don't miss it. I guess I'm just growing up. My 2 year relationship with Ty went down the shitter since the last time I came home. This time I'm not going back to him. I'm leaving New York behind me, as impossible as it seems. I'm looking for work here in California, and, aside from my family, just don't have anything left there except memories. Don't get me wrong, I totally long for the days when I was in high school and I was the queen of queens. I guess I wasn't really grateful for what I had untill I kinda lost it. Not like college isn't cool. It just isn't the same is all. I never had to worry about money until college.

In other news, my sis sent me some pictures of her belly, damn, that girl is gettin' BIG. She seems pretty happy though, she's no longer an a-cup, so she doesn't even care that she's getting fat from the baby. Just seeing them kind of freaks me out still. I mean, I grew up with my sister. I have memories of her when she was a kid. And even though we're both grown up. It kind of is just a reality of just HOW grown up I am. I mean. God. I feel so old! I'm only 20.... but still, that means I only have 10 years left until I start to get old! Even though gays take a longer time to age... It's a proven fact, fuck you.


Anyways, cuz I'm lazy, I'm cross posting this shit to my lj. I know thats weird, but damn, you should see my closet. OCD.

ok, gotta go to fuckin sleep.

-L.M

The only thing worse than never being happy is being happy, then being sad.

Actually, wtf. I'll be happy again.

Why hasn't he called yet?

I Fear…

1. [x] the dark--Especially when I look into it.
2. [] staying single forever
3. [x] being a parent --Ha ha, I'm gay. Even so, I worry at times. Who knows? What if I fall in love with a guy with a son?
4. [] giving birth -- If I was a girl I could feel where they were coming from.
5. [] being myself in front of others
6. [] open spaces
7. [x] closed spaces
8. [x] heights-- I secretly freak out on airplanes
9. [] black cats
10. [] dogs
11. [] birds--PSHAWWW I love birds!
12. [] fish
13. [] spiders
14. [] flowers or other plants
15. [] being touched --Naw, I love being touched, in some places moreso than others '_~
16. [] fire
17. [] deep water
18. [] lakes
19. [] silk
20. [] the ocean
21. [x] failure--Who isn't?
22. [] success
23. [x] thunder/lightning-- I squeal like a 12 year old girl, it's so embarassing.
24. [] frogs/toads
25. [x] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad--Not really afraid, I just don't like him.
26. [] my boyfriends/girlfriends mom
27. [] mice/rats
28. [x] jumping from high places -- Of course! Like, when its the middle of the night and a skip a step, I freak out a little bit.
29. [] snow
30. [] rain
31. [] wind
32. [] crossing hanging bridges
33. [x] death-- I try not to, but sometimes at night it just kinda sits there like a bad date.
34. [] heaven
35. [x] being robbed-- Yeah! I'm so greedy, I check if my apartments locked like, 5 times before I leave, even then I freak out.
36. [] falling
37. [x] clowns--I'm afraid of anyone who wears too much makeup!
38. [] large crowds of people
39. [] men -- No way dude, unless you can fuck what you fear.
40. [] women -- OMG HOW CAN ANYONE BE AFRAID OF GIRLS. I love girls, maybe old ladies I hate, but girls are the greatest friends you'll ever get.
41. [x] having great responsibilities--I used to, but not as much now.
42. [] doctors, including dentists
43. [] tornadoes
44. [] hurricanes
45. [] incurable diseases
46. [] snakes
47. [] sharks
48. [] Friday the 13th
49. [x] ghosts--Scare the shit out of me.
50. [] poverty
51. [] Halloween -- Naaaah, Halloween is awesome! I get to dress all cute!
52. [] school
53. [] trains
54. [] odd numbers--what?
55. [] even numbers
56. [x] being alone--I'm so dependant...
57. [x] becoming blind
58. [x] becoming deaf
59. [x] growing up -- I don't have to if I don't wanna! *blows a rassberry*
60. [] monsters under my bed (as in scary people) -- I sleep on a top bunk, Jerri is the monster underneath.
61. [x] creepy noises in the night
62. [] bee stings
63. [] not accomplishing my dreams/goals --Fearing it not happening will make it not happen.
64. [x] needles -- You should have seen me when I got my tongue peirced, I was freaking out and I nearly broke Becks hand, I was clutching it so tightly!
65. [x] blood-- I get queasy watching horror movies, so I like to hold the person next to me. Which is why I like watching them with cute guys.
66. [] dinosaurs if they were alive--I don't think I'd even be alive. Dinos would have eaten my ancestors.
67. [] the welcome mat--What?????!?!
68. [] high speeds
69. [] throwing up
70. [xxxxxxxxxxxx]falling in love
Score: 21

Omg I suck.

Sometimes I feel like extreme vegetarianism and extremist religion are one in the same. In the way that both are so obsessed with recruiting new members and prosecute those who won't follow them. Not to mention both have to do with the moral of humans and how they treat fellow kind, and usually are self contradictory because of violent and discomforting fear tactics they use to get their word across. What I wonder, is why I meet so many extreme vegetarians (not vegetarians who simply don't eat meat and don't make it their life goal to completely annihilate all consumption of animal products.)

Lets take, for example, heaven and hell. You go to hell if you don't abide to the laws of religion, but go to heaven if you do. Thats a fear tactic.


Now, with extreme vegetarianism/veganisim, they will shoot videos of animals being slaughtered to make food, or give out information about how many animals are killed each year and yadda yadda yadda. Now, this is a fear tactic in the sense that moral guilt is brought into play. If you eat meat, that means you enjoy and promote animal cruelty, or so thats what extreme vegetarians seem to want you to think.


So what I am wondering, is why something so similar to religion hate it so much? In fact, almost all religion promotes vegetarianism. And putting extreme value in a life is the same as putting value into a soul.

I meet so many extreme vegetarians/vegans who are atheist.
How come that is? Shouldn't it be the other way around?

Anyone who is extreme vegetarian (as in you've tried to convince someone else to become a vegetarian or tried show them videos/phots of animal cruelty to "convert" them) or knows someone who is, or even has an idea of an answer to this question please answer to me why you or so many other extreme vegetarians have no faith in God?

I myself have nothing against vegetarians, or religion, just wondering.